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Episode 148
<-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 149|Next Episode -->]] Length: 2:32:22 Hosts: Alex Matt Mitch Guests: TURbo, Chris Ott, Kori Intro: Sebastian songs of the RA Crew Content Covered *COD Advanced Warfare *Reading childrens books in super small print *Smash Bros *Some anime Parasite *Beat Saboteur Notable Facts *First appearance of TURbo and Chris Ott *Matt talks about the banana hammock panic again *RA skyscraper has a pants metal dectector. *TURbo teases MAGfest gift to Mitch Funny Stories and Quotes Alex *Kori are you on the sidelines? **Kori -Yes. **Alex (whispers) bitch. *TURbo its been years trying to get you on the show. **Matt - I thought he refused. **TURbo - You said I could only come on the podcast if I used some tongue when I kissed your asshole. **Matt - That's true. **TURbo - This was way back in 2011. **Matt - We're great. **Mitch - TURbo is our scribe. **Alex - Motherfucker has a bandolier of quills. **Alex - This is the future you chose. Can't eat cereal. You are the founder and sole editor of the RA Wiki. Will you change it to Giant Fucking Sellout Wiki? **TURbo - When I get the money. *You're retarded and your getting paid to be retarded. **Matt - That's the dream. **Mitch - Then we will be Game Grumps. *The Wiki cheers us up and prevents us from committing suicide. **Mitch - You'll jang yourself outside a children's hospital. *Kori get down on all 4's. (Mother Brain voice) **Kori - Oh you guys. **Matt - Is her other brain black? **Alex - Mother Blain. *What's the process of Wiki content? **TURbo - When there is enough mentions it can be its own page. **Matt - My cock and balls. *Hi Kori. You're a real pretty girl. You should do movies. **Kori - Stop. Stop! *Looking at RA 99 where Mitch says "What is this show but a miserable pile of quotes." *He's horrifying! **Matt - So Asian! *Lee is too cool, and Bron is so dapper. *Why does Kori date you? **Mitch - I don't know she fell into my lap. *Confirmed. Crazy Head is Jew. Prince is a Jew. **Matt - Really? **Alex - No. **Matt - Black people mistake me for Jewish all the time. As in two *I'm not circumsized but I bet TURbo already knew that. **TURbo - You mentioned it on episode 1. **Matt - I want the foreskin of Alex to attack to my penis, tie it, then make a net to trip people. *Mom's spaghetti is Matt's dick. *Thank you Hitler. **Chris - Words to live by. *We're the target demographic. We won't die. Bring on the motorcycles. *I will get the flu and kill kids with my face. *Welcome to the show TURbo and Chris Ott want to make your claims on vaccinations on the Random Assault podcast? **TURbo - I i i i i edit aaa wiki. **Kori - He didn't get vaccinated. **Alex - Flutits. I'm going to look up tits with the flu. *I'm just saying. Alex didn't get to blow a dog. **TURbo - You can have a new story with all the animals you want. **Alex -Yay! *When you have time on your hands take a hammer, beat your genitals and then you go on the internet and that's a videogame. *You can't live anywhere in the world without someone checking your bags. Matt *(Mitch) Fuck ass. Stop we might get popular. **Alex - Game Grumps! *Banana Hammock Panic is a game. **Alex - I don't believe you but I wish it was true. **Matt- You wish it was true. *Don't take my word for it. Go fuck yourself. *Little Tubby TURbo. **Alex - I'm seeing it with my eyes. It burns! **Mitch - TURbo praise us more. You're the only one. *I hit random page, and I got Kori. **Mitch - She has a page? **Kori - You fucking white people disgust me. **Matt - If I was on tumblr I would agree with you. Put it on the gravestone. **Make fun of me Alex when you don't torrent. **Alex - I go to the drive thru and download torrents with my eyeballs. (goes Irish accents) **Matt -What the fuck? **Alex - You should go to Netflix Drive Thru Theater and watch Wreck it Ralph with Christna. *I play Wii U on toilet like crack on lineoleum. *When you eat Matt's dick do you use fork and spoon? *She filled Arthur's ass to the top. It's blurry and I can't read it. *Oh yeah he had flash cards to eat because he was retarded. *I blame Jim Carrey for autism deaths. (Kori rebuttals) *Celebrities have a responsibility. *They started... oh my god.... Fuck me harder in the ass. *Blow a dog for 1 minute or a homeless man for 10? **Alex - What the fuck is going on? **Mitch - Like Heavy Rain only good. *I promise we are worse in person. Mitch *Thank God. Finally killed himself. *Kori died. I killed her. (She wouldn't turn off her phone so he turned off her life) *No mail for Mitchell. I didn't know it would be prophetic with my life. *(Biggest lie ever told) I don't watch a lot of anime *Hitler likes to paint does that mean I killed 6 million Jews. **Alex, TURbo, Matt, Chris - Yeah. **TURbo - He had bigger art projects. *I will slime your teacher with Matt's cum. **Matt - I've been saving it for years. It's fermented under my bed. TURbo *We were playing COD Advanced Warfare on XB1. **Matt -Why? **Chris - Second mission is a tutorial mission. **Mitch - Is that the mission where you pee on the guys grave? **TURbo - After you pee on the grave you play the tutorial mission twice. *You pee on Kevin Spacey's dead son. **Matt - I know John Travolta has a real dead son. Ric Flair has a real dead son. **Chris - Stallone has a real dead son. **Matt - True *The Top 10 games of all time or 30 for Kate. *Matt you're wrong. Dredd is 2012. Total Recall was 2011. You are not qualified to talk about time. **Matt - I'm old. **Kori - I'm old. *I'm going to MAGfest and I'll bring gifts. Especially for you Mitch. **Mitch - Oh Christ. A late birthday present. **Alex - Please let it be his unbirth. Being suffortive. Chris *Sounds like an anime cliche. **Matt - Mitch is anime. *Sonic Colors. The game plays itself. I keep hitting the A button to win. **Mitch - It's a great game. **Kori - Whhhhyyyyy?!?!?!? How do you feel about latex Mitchell. **Mitch - Very very good. God that butt is staring at me. **Alex - The first character Mitch picked in Smash was Sonic. **Chris - I use the auto lock on and I get killed. **TURbo - Did you work on the cutscenes in Sonic Colors? **Mitch - Yes. You know my secret. **Matt - I'm Mitch I'm a huge Sonic faggot. **TURbo - Sounds like Sonic Team only made half of the game anyway. **Chris - I'm trolling you. Sonic Colors is good. **TURbo - I thought you weren't a faggot. **Alex - Surprise! Kori *I don't trust anything the government gives for free. *If you have a felony you shouldn't have kids. **Alex - Wrongfully accused balls off! *You know my secret. **Mitch - You always wear thongs. **Kori - No! I'm the ant. **Alex - It looks like Mitch drew her. *(slaps Mitch stomach) **Mitch Oww! <-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 149|Next Episode -->]] Category:Episode Category:Alex Category:Matt Category:Mitch Category:Guest Category:TURbo Category:Kori